Feral Time, Part 2

Morning came a lot faster than I thought. The sounds of birds chirping woke me up, as did the sound of my tent being unzipped. I looked out from the safety of my sleeping bag and saw Claw's muzzled face looking back at me.

"Morning Farm," he said with a smile that showed off his very white and sharp looking teeth, "Time to wake up, pack up and start your real vacation."

I let out a groan. I didn't really want to go through with his plan for my vacation. Running around in the woods seemed like something I'd both not enjoy and be lots more work. I just huffed a bit and climbed out of the sleeping bag and the tent as he backed up a bit, still walking around on four legs.

"Why are you walking on all fours a lot Claw?" I asked him as I took down my campsite, taking my time a bit I'll admit.

"I'm on vacation to Farm," he just replied plainly, then sat on his haunches like a very big dog with his wings all neatly folded at his sides, "I'm enjoying my time away from all things human. I get to let my dragon nature run wild out here and that's how I relax. You'll enjoy it Farm, trust me."

"I really doubt I will," I replied with a slight huff, "I'm not really sure I have a dragon nature to be honest. Maybe all I am is what you said I was, a human with a dragon body."

"I'll admit, I do think that of you," said Claw while he sat there and I rolled my sleeping bag and tent up, "I think that you present yourself that way for a reason. You do it intentionally to conform to the people around you. You spend the bulk of your time around humans, it's only natural to have them rub off on you and you start to walk, talk and think like one."

"I was one once Claw," I told him as a shot him a glare, "and so were you. We can't hide our past lives and bodies because it's in those experiences that define the people we are and the people we will become."

"I'm not a person Farm," he replied with ice in his words, "I'm a monster with a mask."

"You are not a monster Claw and I don't see you ever becoming one," I shot back, I didn't like him suddenly talking about himself like that.

"It's what I am and there is no denying it," he told me right back with a dead serious look on his face, "I'm a monster with a mask, so are you. I come out here to let the monster loose, to let myself become what I truly am and gorge on the pleasures it offers so when I put the mask back on and go home, I'm not as much a danger to my family and friends as I could be if I just bottled the beast up all the time like you do. I must say I'm impressed you managed to keep yourself as contained as you have for this long. I would have snapped and been eating something or maybe even someone had I been run through the ringer like you've been."

As I loaded the last of the camping supplies into the back of the Ford, closed the tailgate and buttoned down a large green tarp over her to protect her from the rain while I was away, driving spikes into the ground to keep it all taught and wouldn't blow away. I just kept thinking that this whole vacation was starting to take on a life of its own. It felt like I was more along for the ride than trying to control myself in this situation. Once I had her buttoned down for the next week and a few days, I turned around to Claw who just looked at me and let a snort go.

"What?" I asked him, confused as to what he looked annoyed about.

"Eh hem," he said with a look on his face that just felt like he was pointing to the most obvious thing in the world and I wasn't seeing it.

"Honestly, what is it?" I asked him again, still confused and this time a bit annoyed.

All he did was tap his chest with a forepaw, his bare chest.

"You want me too…." I started to say and then trailed off as it hit me.

"You are going to live, eat and pretty much think like a feral from this moment on Farm," he told me, "You'll hunt, you'll feed, you'll fly, you'll bathe and you'll look like a feral dragon. You said you'd follow my lead. It's time to get started. Now get rid of the outfit. It won't last long anyway out there; it'll just get all dirty and torn. Just store it with the rest of your stuff, it will be safe here."

I grumbled a bit, but I had made a deal with him to give it a chance. I let a snort go out of frustration, but I walked behind a tree and started to undress.

"This is demeaning, you know that right?" I shot at him from behind my cover.

"You'll learn to enjoy the feeling of sun on your scales," he shouted back a bit, "Wind on your body, grass running across all four of your legs and along your underbelly. It's a great feeling. And here's a little something, why did you go behind a tree if you're just gonna walk out naked anyway?"

I growled a bit and replied, "Because I'm getting undressed back here. There is an issue of seeing that happening rather than just the result."

"I still find it funny." he said with a chuckle.

"Laugh it up Claw." I shot back.

"I plan to." he fired right back at me.

I got my outfit off, my boots, my socks, my jeans, my shirt and even my hat. I folded them up neatly, scuttled behind the Ford out of sight of Claw as he just sat out there a few feet away looking all smug. I crawled under the tarp, opened the driver's side door and set my clothes on the seat. Carefully closing the door, after retrieving my keys from my jeans and going to the back of the Ford, tucking the keys up under the rear bumper, safely out of sight behind a support bar. I crawled out from under the tarp to find Claw looking back at me with a smug grin on his muzzle.

"Was that fun?" he asked, still smiling at me.

"Was what fun?" I asked back, not really understanding the question.

"Crawling around on all fours under a big tarp naked." he replied, the big grin got a little bigger.

I just huffed and stood up on two legs and started to walk away from the site.

"I knew it," he said with a large laugh as he started to trot after me, "You liked it."

"It was interesting." I just said while he caught up, "Not bad, just tickled a bit."

"It's pretty much the same if you get petted," he replied, now walking beside me, "It's fun to just get petted. Sometimes my parents pet me, I like it."

He just had the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. He really enjoyed being a dragon. I just sighed and walked into the woods with him, glancing back over my shoulder as I got to the tree line at the covered form of my truck.

"Rest well sweetie," I thought with a heavy heart filled with fear of the unknown, "I'll be back, I promise."

I slowly looked away from her and towards the woods that lay out before me. Heavy undergrowth, tall trees and tons of bushes, it was a pristine and gorgeous looking forest. It was much like the ones I used to hike in when I was little. I felt the branches and leaves run over my bare scales. Claw was right, it did feel good. I relaxed a bit with each stroke from a tree or a bush branch. It felt so good, I really just liked the feeling.

As we got deeper and deeper into the wilderness, I felt a stirring inside my head. All the senses I had seemed to snap out of their dulled, day to day slump at the sights, smells, sounds and feelings of the environment around me and everything became sharper. I had been able to get a similar reaction if I focused on one thing before, but it was then it all just seemed to click into place.

"I see you've started to adapt to the woods there Farm," Claw said with a chuckle.

"What do you mean?" I asked back in puzzlement.

"Your eyes brightened up, your ears are swinging around a lot more and you are looking around a lot." he replied with a smile on his muzzle as he remarked on my behavior.

"Well, how do you know that I'm adapting and not just being me?" I huffed back at him.

"Because I saw you before," he said in a matter of fact tone and dropping the chuckle in a heartbeat," Almost dead eyes, you looked almost like a walking corpse. You didn't have much of shine to your eyes at all, it was unnerving to say the least. It wasn't surprising though, you were like a caged lion. Now you can run free again and get your light back in your eyes."

I just huffed at him and looked forward again. While I'll admit I felt caged up, I just thought that's the way it was and I wasn't in bad shape.

"Your ears are also independently moving around." he remarked, "They didn't do that before, they swung around and both were aimed forward when you started to really listen. When you looked at me just now, you swung only one ear to listen to me and the other stayed in the direction you were walking. You were still listening for anything up ahead."

I just growled a bit and glared ahead.

"And now they've flattened out." he said with a laugh, "Your ears just give you away so much."

"Stop it." I quickly shot back, I didn't like him reading me like he was.

He just laughed a bit as we walked on. After a long time, or at least to me it was, I faint roar of falling water came to my attention. We walked into another clearing and this one was nothing short of amazing. It wasn't very big, but a gap in the tree line along a cliff face and as I looked down the front of it, a beautiful waterfall that was just rushing over it and into a small river was one of the most breathtaking sights I'd seen in a long time. I just couldn't stop myself from getting closer to it. I couldn't help it, it was just pristine. The waterfall had to be 20 feet across and 20 feet high and the water was a brilliant white and all bubbling and foaming.

"Welcome to my outdoor shower Farm." Claw said as he walked over to me in my dazed state, "After many hunts, I wash the blood off me here. It never stops feeling great to have the cold water rush over my body, just cleaning me to a shine."

"How did you find this place?" I asked him, still staring in wonder.

"The air, I flew over it and had to try it," he replied, "Go on, have a wash."

He looked up at me with a smile and I looked back at him in confusion.

"How do I get there?" I asked.

"Just jump in the river and swim out there," he told me, "There is a nice flat ledge of rock to stand on once you get there."

I looked at my feet a bit and muttered, "I can't swim."    

"You can't?" he asked in shock, "What kind of dragon can't swim?"

"Listen," I said in my defense, "I used to swim when I was little, I cut my foot open on a sharp piece of metal under the water. Since then I've been wary of water."

"Well," he said with a sigh, "time to conquer that fear. You said you'd follow my guidance and so I'm going to tell you to get into the water."

I looked back up and into his eyes, just feeling like to told me to do something I knew was wrong. I opened my mouth to object, but I just closed it again. I knew I shouldn't fight him, he was just trying to help me. So, I started towards the river's edge. One my feet felt the sand and it squished between my toes, I had to admit it felt good.

"Go on, walk into the water," he ordered, walking up to the water himself, "It's a nice shallow one for the first few feet and then drops off to about 10 feet deep. Be careful."

I huffed and started to walk into the cold water. The moment it covered my toes and started up my leg to my elevated heels, the rushing water over them was truly pleasurable. When I was little, I liked to swim. The feeling of the water all around me and on my skin was nice. It was when I got that large gash on my foot that my fear got the best of me and I gave up on going in the water.

Now with the water rushing over my scaly toes and as I walked in deeper, father up my legs till the river water was to my knees. The cool water was a huge relief and relaxing feeling as it rushed over my tail and around my legs. I enjoyed it a lot and kept walking out into the river till I was up to my waist in it and my wing edges just dipped into the soothing river of cool water.

"You look all content out there," said Claw from the shore, "Your face is all relaxed."

"I liked the water a lot before," I replied dryly, "I just didn't like getting cut like that."

"You're fine now Farm," he said with a mild laugh, "You're a dragon and I highly doubt that any rock in there is sharp enough to cut your pads. There is also no metal bits in there either, this area is untouched by humanity. The closest things out here that are man made is what you brought with you. Just enjoy yourself."

I just grumbled a bit and took a few more steps into the river. Suddenly, I felt my feet slip off the edge of the river bed and I quickly fell into the deeper water. Just before my head went under the water's surface and I roared in surprise, I saw Claw suddenly burst into high speed motion and leap into the air.

"FARM!" he roared just has my head was pulled under and I felt myself sink deeper.

I was in a panic, I just didn't know how to swim, not even how to float. All my struggles and thrashes just seemed to make me sink faster. I held my muzzle closed, tried to keep myself  from screaming in fear and trying to not breathe. I couldn't hear, everything was muffled as water filled my ears, it also started to pour into my snout as my nostrils couldn't seal up properly. I held my eyes closed, fearing opening them underwater. I thrashed and struggled as I fought to try and go up, only sinking deeper into the water. I felt like I'd drown in that river as I felt myself getting weaker. I just struggled a bit more with what remained of my will as I felt the water get colder and colder as I sunk deeper and deeper. I used what strength I had left to stretch out my right claw towards the surface and opened my eyes.

It didn't hurt, just weird to see underwater. A large mass was in the water with me, I looked up towards it and tried to figure out what it was. My vision was fuzzy and I was scared so I my rationality was out the window. The mass got closer, I felt like it was going to help me so I held out my claw for it. The dark mass came close enough for me to see what it was, it was Claw. He stretched out a paw and took hold of mine and I felt him pulling me up. I kicked with what strength I had and he pulled me up to the surface of the water. When my head broke above of the river's surface, I took a long ragged breath and started to cough the water out of my lungs.

"Damn it Farm." Claw said, he didn't look phased by the swim, more like he was concerned that I nearly died, "You weren't kidding, you really don't know how to swim."

I choked and wheezed, blasting the water out of nostrils in two mist jets, "I told you."

I coughed and hacked goo out of my mouth a bit more as Claw drug me to the shore and into the grass.

"Damn man, I'm sorry," he apologized, looking me over to make sure I was okay, "I didn't think you'd sink like that. Dragons pretty much float naturally, it came so easy to me. I saw you slip and fall in, then didn't surface immediately I realized you were in trouble. When I dove in and saw you sinking into the river, I got so scared. This river is about 70 feet deep despite its 30 foot width. You get too deep and you're a goner."

"That makes me feel all better Claw." I replied sarcastically, coughing a little more.

"Just rest here and sun yourself," he instructed, "You'll be dry and feel better in no time. I'll go get you some food."

"The bag of chips and some Slim Jims should be enough." I replied, rolling onto my back and spreading my wings out.

"I was thinking more of hunting you a nice rabbit to snack on." he said as he walked to the woods.

"I nearly died," I shot back in hast, "I think a little comfort might help me. Please Claw, if I'm going to do this for more than a week, at least let me use a little of the food I brought with me so I didn't waste my money."

"Alright Farm," he said, sounding a little upset that I didn't want to bite that bullet just yet, but he was willing to compromise, "but only because you said please."

He walked off into the woods and I just laid there while sunning myself dry. The sun on my bare scales always feels nice and the more of it the better. I was happy Claw agreed to let me eat my food, I didn't want to eat raw meat just yet. He returned with his arms loaded with food and soda just as the last few drops of water were cooked off my body.

"Okay," he said, "I figured this would be a fun last man made meal for you for the week, so I got a lot of stuff both of us. I might as well indulge one last time too. Besides, you have Slim Jims, spicy sausages, jerky, Lays ruffled potato chips and a wide selection of soda. I mean seriously man, Dr. Pepper, A&W Root Beer, Spite with Gatorade and two jugs of water with Kool-Aid powder? Think you'll drink that much? Even if you do, you'd have to pee like every half hour."

"I like to drink okay?" I replied, opening a can of root beer, "Its a habit."

"You sure are a strange dragon," he commented as I took a sip, "Holding a can of soda and clutching a Slim Jim while sitting on a river bank naked. You are either a dragon with an odd tastes or a college guy that's hammered."

"Can't I be a college dragon on vacation?" I said to him, just being sarcastic.

"I guess that fits," he said, "Normally spring break is all about this sorta thing."

"Naked in places?" I replied, still just eating my large amount of Slim Jims and Chips, enjoying the tastes while I could, though they still were lacking something.

"Yep," he replied with a smirk.

"We need at least one girl," I commented, just being a smart alike, "You can't have a proper spring break naked woods party with no girls."

Claw suddenly smirked and a look in his eyes got my attention, "I could see if I could arrange that if you want?"

"What?" I asked back, now confused, "You mean you know where we could find a girl to join us?"

"A few dragonesses are around here somewhere." he said, still wearing that grin, "I'm sure a slick and eye catching male like you could find a pretty little dragoness to share a cave with for an evening."

My eyes widened in shock. I didn't want to go that far.

"Uuhhh....I don't think I should." I told him, shaking a little bit, "It's not right by my rules to do that."

"I understand," he said, shifting tone a little bit, but still laughing a tiny bit, "I'm the same way. I'd rather not get tied down to a mate at the moment. I've been asked a few times though. Dragonesses hate to be told no, especially when they go into heat. I normally avoid mating season around here. I stay at home."

"Good call." I replied, still eating my food between conversations.

"Still, I think you should meet a few of my feral dragon friends." he said as he laid back on the ground, "Kato is a good guy, you and him will get along nicely I think. Justia, well, it's hard not to like her. She's very touchy feely. She's the one that got me to love being petted. I think when she gets her paws on you, you'll learn to love being petted too."

"She does ask first right?" I asked him worryingly.

"Well, she might feel you up once or twice." he admitted, "Trust me, it won't feel unwelcome for very long. It's just the initial shock of a dragoness being so friendly that's the hardest to get over, but really if you get into it, you'll love it. Just watch out for her in heat, she doesn't take no for an answer. That's mainly the reason why I stay at home during mating season. Even feral dragonesses know not to venture into human cities to look for mates. Not 100% sure they still avoid them since dragons are now out in public, but I think the stigma remains."

"Have you ever.....you know?" I warily asked, I was curious.

"Mated?" he replied, "No I haven't. Been offered, never took them up on the offer. I have my own life to lead. I don't want hatchlings looking up at me and calling me daddy just yet in my life. I want to make a go of my dreams."

"Same here." I replied, eating the last of a bag of chips.

"There are a few more dragons I'd like you to meet," he told me, "but I'll save the introductions for when we find them."

He finished up what food he wanted and so did I. We collected up the trash and I asked,

"What should we do with this stuff?"

"Simple," he replied with his smirk, "We're dragons. Put it on that shore of the river."

I did as he told me too and piled it up away from the water's edge.

"Now, the dragon way of being green about trash," he told me, "We breathe fire on it till it's all ash and vaporized."

He reared his head back and let a stream of red flames go and it hit the pile of trash, vaporizing the chip bags and plastic wrappers in seconds. I followed suit and together we made the sand beneath where the pile of trash was heat up and start to look like glass. Once it was done and the sand cooled back down, still looking like it was getting to be glass, the trash was all gone.

"There, all gone," Claw said with his smirk still on his muzzle, "Now, onto the next important thing. You've been on two legs this whole time. If you are going to meet the feral dragons in this area, you need to walk on all fours."

"Why can't I stay on two?" I asked, "I don't walk on all fours very much."

"Well, now you get to spend over a week on all fours," he said, smiling at me while he rolled onto his belly and stood up on his four legs, "Now come on, just get down on all fours and stay like that. It's not bad, it's just a walking style."

I grumbled a bit, but I did as he said. Once again, just like that day I went to Wal-Mart to get new clothes after I changed back into a normal dragon from a battle dragon, the posture came to me with scary ease. It felt natural to stand like that, way too natural and it deeply worried me, but Claw looked me over with satisfaction.

"There you are," he said as he walked around me, "Good length, nice tail width, hind legs and hips are all nicely bent and looks good, forelegs are straight, neck is curved into a nice and regal shape and your wings are all nice and tucked at your sides. You sure you don't stand like this much, it looks like you've done this a lot by your posture."

"I do it on the rare occasion I feel like doing it," I shot back, "I don't make a habit out of it."

"Well, you certainly look the part of a feral," he remarked, "Now let's go for a walk."

He started to trot off, swing his tail from side to side in a happy manner it seemed. I just took a few shaky steps forward before finding my stride on all fours and then trotted after him, all the while thinking,

"This has to be the oddest vacation ever."

I kept pace with him as best I could, it wasn't too hard, but he did have a nice speedy trot to his walk on all fours. It was interesting walking on two legs through the woods before, but on all fours it was an all new thing. My chest and underbelly was just raked with bushes and things. The feeling of the foliage going over my wings and along my tail was far more than I thought it would be. It was like being hugged by nature as I walked, I was having fun.

We kept going through the woods and over the hills and valleys. Where he was leading me I didn't know, but I assumed it was for more fun times in the wild since this basically was his sales pitch for the idea. At least the weather was being kind to us. Clear blue sky, puffy white clouds, big golden sun and a nice warm breeze on a nice cool day. I couldn't ask for a better day for that kind of stuff.

The further we walked, the more in the wild I felt. The trees, the grass, the brushes, heck, even the rocks and dirt between my toes was all I needed to feel like I was a happy feral dragon. But my rational mind just shrugged it off, thinking that it was all temporary. Sooner or later, it would all end and it was back to the grind for me. Still, I felt more like I could lose that weight the deeper I got.

"What's wrong with losing myself," I thought while I followed behind Claw, "It's over a week, I'll be able to collect myself up at the end and be all the better for it. Claw does this all the time, surely I can do it."

After hours of walking, I started to get bored with it all. Sure I liked to hike when I was little, long walks were nothing new to me, but this was a hike that I didn't know where I was going nor knew the reason for it. I guessed he had a surprise, so I just kept following him deeper and deeper into the woods till finally something interesting happened. A faint rustle of something up ahead got both of our attentions. Our heads shot up and looked around for the source of the sound. It came again and Claw started to duck lower into the undergrowth that we had been walking through for the last few hours. I followed suit and wondered what the heck is going on, but dare not ask for fear of whatever it was, it was bad. With a sudden snap of a twig by whatever it was, Claw burst into motion and leapt at a bush, I heard something roar in surprise. A few snarls and a hiss told me what it was. I carefully slunk around the side of the bush to find Claw wrapped around a large brown dragon, immobilizing it completely. The brown dragon fought to get free, but couldn't get Claw off, who was holding his hind legs together with his tail and wrapped their forelegs together. Claw was clamped onto the dragons back and weighted him to the ground and kept him there.

"Get off me," the brown dragon snarled, "I will not let you take my territory."

"We're not taking your territory," I told him, "We're just passing through."

"No," he snapped back, "The last 4 dragons to come through here tried to kill me and take it. Its mine."

"Well, we aren't them," Claw snarled, "I can tell you were going to try and jump us. Now we are just passing through. I'm not gonna hurt you and he's not gonna hurt you. I'm going to let you go now and we're all just gonna walk away."

Claw let the dragon loose who then proceeded to scurry away a little bit and eyed us while we inched away from him.

"Go on, get outta here!" he roared, "Just leave me alone."

I backed away even faster, still in the direction Claw was walking earlier. Claw just stuck up his snout and turned around, walking away with a dissatisfied look on his draconic face. I quickly followed after him into the thick woods to get away from that dragon.

"Who was that dragon?" I asked in a whisper once we made it over a few hills.

"His real name is a mystery," he replied, sounding saddened by the thought of it, "He either can't remember it or he's just not wanting to say it. He's always guarded that bush as his territory. He's gone pretty crazy over the years."

"Any idea what happened?" I questioned, just upset over that poor dragon.

"He was the sad victim of your government's efforts to control dragons." he said, now with anger creeping into his voice, "From what stories I've heard, they picked at his brain, tortured him, brainwashed him, force feed him human meat for 3 years. It was never found out what was the purpose of all that, but it still effects him even today as you can clearly see. He's gone crazy. While his normal dragon instincts remain to keep him alive, the ravaged human aspects of his mind cause him to act irrational and without any regard for himself or others. Most of the time you can just say you'll leave and he'll do what he just did, let you go. However, if he's in a bad mood, he'll fight you to the death. We're lucky we caught him on a pretty good day."

"That's a good day for him?!" I replied in shock, just bewildered that was a good day for him.

"Yeah, normally he bites," replied Claw, seeming to just say it like it was no big deal.

As we walked even deeper into the woods, I could help but think of how lucky I was that was to have dodged a ton of bullets when I announced myself to the world. A lot of things could have gone wrong and I would have ended up in a very tight spot or maybe even dead. Well, death was a very strong possibility had things gone south on me, but they didn't and for that I was thankful.  

It was a long time of walking till we seemingly got close to what Claw was looking for. He stuck his head up, and sniffed around till his went over to a tree and sniffed it.

"Ahh," he breathed in satisfaction, "The boarder."

"Boarder of what?" I asked him pretty nervously as a walked up next to him.

"Clan territory." he said in reply as he swung his head around to look at me with a wide draconian grin.

"Clan territory?" I said in almost a whimper.

"I kinda made a deal with this clan." Claw told me, "It's like an open invitation deal. I get them some news and some supplies from time to time, and they let me come and go as I please. I also have an open ended invitation to join their clan and live out here. There have been a few bad days I've considered taking them up on that offer."

"What stopped you?" I asked him, "I mean, you seem like you'd jump at it from the way you talk about a feral life."

"A lot of the times it was the fact I know I'd miss my life at home", he said with a sigh, "As much as I felt those times like just pulling out and going into the woods and never coming back, I knew I'd get homesick enough to ruin my life out here. Then there are you guys online, I can't leave my friends behind."

"Claw?" I warily asked, "Remember that deal we made a few days after we met?"

He gave me a clearly puzzled look in return.

"You told me that some things in life are too important to just run away from, no matter the reasons you have at the time," I told him, gathering my strength to put the feeling behind it, "You told me that if you went feral, through and through, to track you down and get you out. Take you to a room and bring you back out of it."

He chuckled a bit, "Yeah, I did tell you that. I mean it too, you get me out. If I did run off, I don't want to stay there, no matter what I tell you if that should happen, you ignore it. Knock me out, drag me back to my house and force feed me cookies, pie, pepperoni and anything. Get me to see that I should go back. I can't promise I'll want to, but you have to make me want to Farm."

"I'll do my best Claw," I told him, "That I promise you."

"You always do Farm," Claw replied with a smile, "Here's a chance for some feral dragon training. Smell this tree."

I didn't think much of it at the time, so I went over to the tree, put my snout to it and sniffed. The smell was musky, kinda had one of those scents that has a taste too, one the sticks to the back of your throat. I can only compare it to the smell of one of those pet lizards in a pet store, the ones that have been there for a long time and have that oddly tangy, musty lizard smell about them.

"That's the smell of a male dragon that has claimed the area as his territory," Claw told me, "That scent belongs to Utoro. Nice enough guy, despite him being an old Hierarchy dragon."

"He was in the Hierarchy," I replied in shock, "But doesn't that mean he's kinda not fond of humans?"

"Oh, he's not fond of humans at all," Claw shot back, "He's pretty much been stripped of anything you could consider human. He's kinda more of the old world weary dragon. He may not like humans, but he's not dumb. He knows that in a head to head fight between humans and dragons, humans would come out on top given the current situation. So rather than waste lives in a pointless and ultimately fast war, he ditched the Hierarchy along with a band of his friends and formed his own clan."

"I wasn't aware that you could just leave the Hierarchy," I replied, just thinking it over.

"You can't," coldly replied Claw, looking grimmer than moments before, "If any Hierarchy dragons find him, he's a dead dragon. He's a deserter."

I just stared at Claw in shock, this was a lot to take in. When he just started to walk again, all I could do was follow. I wasn't quite sure what was going to happen, but this wasn't looking to be much of a relaxing vacation. With all the stuff he was telling me, I started to wonder if there was a final exam.

It was another long walk, till suddenly Claw stopped and dropped to the ground. This time it was different, it wasn't a pouncing position like before, it was a bow. He lowered his head and bent his forelegs so he was in a stooped over into a bow. I was confused.

"Bow Farm," he snarled.

I just quickly bowed like Claw had done, keeping my eyes to the ground. It didn't take long for the reason to make itself know. A large thump sounded and a chanced a peek at the feet of what it was. Not much a shock, it was a very large dragon, a blue one with black claws and talons. I didn't dare look higher up.

"Fireflash Rainclaw," boomed the dragon in a very deep and growly tone, but not a hiss or growl on the 'r's at all, it had a very clear voice. Sounded male too, just the sheer depth of it made that clear, "It's good to see you again and that you haven't forgotten the proper greetings. It's been what? Four months since you've come to visit us? We await your tales of what's been going on in the rest of the world. You've even brought us another potential clan member, excellent. Utoro will be pleased to have more help in the coming days. We've been hoping for more dragons to carry the load of patrols since you have been unwilling to shed your humanity fully and join us."

I didn't lift my head, but I so wanted to tell him that I was just visiting.

"It has been awhile," Claw told him, I heard his voice trail a bit, he raised his head as he spoke, "I will tell you all that I've learned. This is..... Etoke Coldfang, he's in need of a rest and temporary accommodations. He's even willing to help out with all the clan duties during his stay as I always am."

I nearly jumped up and shouted at Claw for what he said at that moment, I didn't want to join a clan. Temporary or not, I felt being in a clan was something I really didn't wanted to do.

"Temporary huh?" the dragon growled, sounding a bit displeased with what he was just told, "Well, we'll get him set up with some duties to pull his own weight for the time he is here. Must be a wandering drake, maybe Utoro can convince him to stay with us."

I heard Claw laugh at that last part under his breath. I was horrified, Claw just got me tossed into a clan on my first day. My head was reeling from it all.

"Follow." the dragon growled at us.

I heard the dragon turn around and start to walk, to be honest my legs were getting tired at that point. I still looked up to be greeted by a giant blue dragon rear end. He's back and tail had gold stripes like mine, all zig zaggie. He looked old too, a 27 foot long and weather beaten dragon. His spiked back and tail tip made him look like head be very dangerous to anger, his black plated underside made that point all the clearer, so I kept my muzzle shut as I followed him. My head was buzzing with the ramifications of what just happened. I was in shock, but oddly enough I felt a longing to find out more. I chalked it up to my curiosity, just like I've started to do since these urges showed up. It was weird, but I figured I was just getting myself into something because I wanted to know more about it like always. It was my vacation, so I went for the ride. Although the 'duties' I was to be given didn't sound like a relaxing good time.

When we came to a large hill, I immediately knew what was going to happen next as soon as I saw the large cave opening. I couldn't stop myself, I just took a few shaky steps back. The fear of what might happen in there got to me. It wasn't the fact it was a cave, I've explored them before. It was the fact that I knew this one was a dragon clan's cave.

"Etoke," said the large blue dragon, hearing my dragon name got to me. I kinda cursed at myself for telling Claw that I'd made one up for myself just for giggles, it wasn't made to be actually used as a name for me, "You are welcome here, come inside."

Claw came up alongside me and nudged my shoulder,

"Come on Etoke, it's okay."

I shot him a glare, I felt like I was losing more of myself then I cared for at that point, but he looked at me with a confident smile on is scaly face. I lightly growled and walked inside the dark cave.

"There you go my young drake," the blue dragon said with a mild laugh, "Timid isn't he Fireflash?"

"He's still getting used to being a dragon Kato," replied Claw, "He's more like me and wants to live his life like a human."

The dragon let out a quick snarl,

"What a pointless endeavor? What dragon wants to live among humans? It's better for all dragon kind that we all live just like our nature intends us to. To be proud and powerful creatures, living in peace and quiet, away from those destructive creatures and their high and mighty attitudes."

As much as I felt like I should speak up and defend myself, I felt like doing so would only bring more problems. So, in the interest of keeping my head attached to my body, I kept my muzzle shut. However, I made a mental note to have a very long talk to Claw when we got some alone time.

The winding tunnels and passages were dark, but thanks to my draconic vision, I could see very clearly. It was a natural cave system, water must have flowed through those tunnels for a long time. The sound of rushing water still echoes through the stone passages, the underground river was still flowing through some of the tunnels, providing fresh water to the dragons living there in the convenience of their own cave. Handy really. They really had it made as far has living accommodations was concerned. Cool living spaces, ready supply of fresh water and the protection of the cave itself.

As we walked, I could see the other dragons in the tunnels. A fear rose up in my chest, I honestly thought that at any moment they'd turn and attack me. Almost every feral dragon I'd run across wanted me dead with a few exceptions, I figured I had legitimate cause for concern. It was when I'd look at their faces, really look at them I saw it, something Claw saw right off and I guess I was blinded to out of fear. It was love. They cared for each other there, they were a family and by the ways they'd smile and look at each other as they'd pass one another there was a deep emotional bond there that I didn't understand. I guess when I'd see the snarling face of an angry feral my fears get the better of me and I started to generalize. As I'd see mated pairs walking side by side through the caves, hatchlings underfoot, I was honestly baffled. I'd seen that before, in the Hierarchy outpost months ago, but it was colored by the looks of hatred and fear on those dragons' faces of me. I saw it raw there, just pure admiration and love between a dragon and a dragoness, their young just playing around their scaled legs. It was one of the most touching things I'd ever seen, the pair even was walking with their tails intertwined. It was truly moving to see that level of love in a place that before that point I never thought any existed.

I just kept following Claw and Kato looking at all the young and old dragons going about their lives, at that point I felt more like an outsider then I think I ever felt before or since. Here I was basically disguising myself as one of them after fighting myself for so long, thinking they were merely animals and feeling ashamed to be one of their species. I felt deeply ashamed to have assumed so much about them and not giving them due credit and looking for myself before that point. So I just decided to really open my eyes and learn all I could. Throw myself at the nature of being a dragon without restraint, I owned it to them for not giving them the chance to explain their side of it.

"Here we are." Kato said, "The main chamber. Utoro will speak to you now."

He motioned us to walk in and Claw just trotted right into the chamber. I followed after, still keeping a low profile. Once I was in the huge chamber, I looked around. It was very big, there were stalactites and stalagmites and even a few huge columns around the cave. The room was light by a few torches along the walls and I traced them to near the back where sitting on a pile of brush was a huge red dragon. He was a deep red, darker red than me. He looked every inch an old red dragon with all his yellowed, weather beaten horns and spikes on his head and down his back, much like one of those ancient dragons you hear stories about, the old English ones.

"Utoro," Claw said with a large smile, "Good to ssssee you again, you ssssseem well."

When Claw started to hiss very strongly it put me off, but I was determined to hold to my convictions to learn as much as could.

"I am Fireflassssh Rainclaw," boomed the large dragon in a deep and growling tone, he even hissed which put me a bit on edge, "It'ssss good to sssssee you again brother, alwaysssss a pleassssure to sssssee a friendly faccce in thesssse trying timessss."

"Sssssame," Claw hissed right back, he was gaining strength in his hisses too. They were lasting longer and he was even flicking his tongue out a bit, "I come to you for a little bit to resssst and return to my true nature for a few daysssss."

"When will you learn my young dragon that you don't have to ever leave thisssss placcce?" asked Utoro with a very large grin on his huge muzzle, "You can be a part of our clan and you'll never have to go back to that ssssstresssful life you come here to esssscape. We will welcome you into the clan and you'll be able to live the ressssst of your dayssssss with usssss."

Claw just smirked and chuckled a bit,

"You know you've been offering me a place within your clan for well over a year now. I'm ssssstarting to think you're getting to enjoy my ressssponssse."

"No, I'm not really ready for that yet. I have thingsssss I want to do and commitmentsssss I have made," chucked Utoro back at Claw, "Issss that the normal reply to my generousssss offer?"

"Aye, it isssss," Claw said with a nod, "and it still standsssss. I'm not going to leave my life behind, I have my pride and I won't conccccede defeat jusssst yet."

"That pride of yoursssss will get you into trouble Fireflassssh Rainclaw," Utoro told him with a raised eye ridge, "You'd better be careful at who you crosssss with that attitude. Not all older dragonsssss are assss friendly asssss I am."

"I wasssss never one for the ssssafe road Utoro," Claw replied with a cocky grin, "You know that."

"I do, and it'ssss how you ended up at my feet all that time ago," laughed the large red dragon, clearly enjoying a thought he just had.

I looked at Claw in puzzlement, wondering what he was talking about.

"You know that wassssn't my fault Utoro," Claw shot back, "I honessssstly didn't know that deer wasssss your kill."

"And I nearly killed you for the inssssult," laughed Utoro, aiming his gaping maw right at Claw, "Here wasssss thissss sssspunky, young gray dragon trying to take my kill. We ssssure got into it did we not Fireflasssssh?"

"You nearly bit my tail off," said Claw with a sort of passive aggressive tone.

"And you nearly tore my throat out," Utoro said, still laughing at the memories, "I wasssss sssso impressssssed I jussssst couldn't kill you. Ssssso I beat you unconsssssciousssss and dragged you back here. When you awoke, you were ssssso ssssspooked."

"I thought you were gonna keep me there forever," Claw said back, growling a bit more.

"The thought occurred to me, " admitted Utoro, "Sssstill, my days in the Hierarchy gave me sssscarssss I sssstill carry. If I kept you, denied you in your wissssh to return home to your loved onessss. How would I be any different from them?"

We both stayed silent, just feeling the tension in his words. The way his green slit eyes moved around in his skull was clear that all those pains he suffered were still there, plaguing his very soul. He just let out a long sigh and continued with,

"I had to ssssend you home. I misssss my family to thisssss day. It'ssss been over sssseventy yearsssss. None of them are ssssstill alive. It was only ssssix yearssss ago I was able to essssscape the Hierarchy. By the time I was able to get out, it wasssss too late. I'll never ssssee them again. They robbed me of my family, my friendssss and my life. They even tried to rob me of my very ssssoul. Thisssss confounded hisssssss in my voiccce, I hate it. It markssss me for what I wassss and what I've done."

"I like the hisssss," Claw said, smiling a bit.

"You've never sssseen the true meaning behind it Fireflash Rainclaw," Utoro shot back with a bit of a growl, "I had thisssss hissss forcccced on me. I refussssed to hisssss for yearsssss and they made me. Put a horrible contraptissson on my face that held my tongue out sssso I'd be forcccced to hissssss, left me chained to the floor and clawed me when I didn't sssspeak. You can like it Fireflassssh, you can call it cool, but I have my reassssonssss for not liking it and I wouldn't forcccce anything on anyone least I become no better than the onessss I cursssse to thissss day."

"I undersssstand and I resssspect you Utoro," replied Claw, every trace of his undertone of defiance was gone, "I owe you for it."

"Yesssss you do," he replied, "and never forget that had you been taken by another clan, you'd not be the dragon you are today."

"I undersssstand fully Utoro," quickly replied Claw.

"Good, ssssee that you keep that in mind FireFlassssh Rainclaw," Utoro snapped back, "Now, you've brought a friend thisssss time. What issss your name young dragon."

I didn't know what to say, but I couldn't lie to him, that was certain. So I just swallowed and told him the truth,

"My name is Ethan James Compas, sir."

Utoro staggered a few steps backward with a confused look on his face.

"You.....you...." he stammered, "You are the one that the Hierarchy wantsssss more than any other dragon on thisssss planet. The dragon that sssssingle handily ruined their carefully made plansssss that took centuriesssss of work and ssssecrecy to put into placccce."

"Farm!" Claw growled, "I wanted you to usssse your dragon name."

"And I told you that was for a story idea I had," I growled right back, "I was never wanting to use it for my real dragon name. I have no real dragon name. I have my name."

"And what about Farm Fressssh?" he snapped back at me, "You usssse that a lot more than your quote real name unquote."

"It's a nick name, a call sign," I snarled right back, "Its meant for stuff like that. I felt like you took a chunk right out of me when you used that name for me. My name is me, it's a part of me."

"Enough!" roared Utoro, making both of us stop in an instant. He just looked me over with a careful eye, "You bring thissss dragon here Fireflassssh, for what purpossssse?"

"He needsssss to learn to accssept being a dragon Utoro," Claw told him, "Not jusssst the body of a dragon, but the nature of a dragon asssss well. You are the only one that can do that. I came to you with thisssss becausssse you are the only one I trusssst to help me make him sssssee that his insssstinctssss aren't there to be repressssssed like he hassss been doing. If dragonsssss are ssssuppossssed to be one day fully accsssepted by humanity, we have to ssssshow them that we aren't animalssss in our natural state, we are jussssst assss ratissonal and thinking creaturesss assss them. To do that, we have to ussssse him to sssshow them."

"Use me?" I asked back in shock.

"Farm, you are the firsssst dragon that revealed yoursssself to humanity," stated Claw, "You have a public image, like it or not. If you agree to learn your true nature, it'll help sssso many other dragonsssss gain the chanccce to go home again and sssstill be the dragonssss they are."

"I didn't ask for any of this Claw," I snarled at him, "I just wanted to go on vacation, not some quest for the advancement of all dragons on the planet."

"I'm not ssssaying thissss issss work Farm," sighed Claw, looking at me dead in the eyes, "You'll have fun learning out want it'ssss like to be a fully fledged dragon and all thissss other ssstuff issss jusssst a bonussss."

"Ethan Jamesssss Compasssss," Utoro said to me, sounding like he was recovering, "While all you've done for dragonsssss hasss earned you much credit in my eyesssss, I mussssst assssk you if you are really willing to give up much of yoursssself."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, now worried once again.

"FireFlasssh'sss feral nature issss more a ressssult of hissss already feral mind that he'sss had ssssinccce long before he became a dragon," Utoro told me.

"What he meansssss Farm issss that I wassss wild before I got a dragon form," Claw explained, "When I firsssst found that sssstone, the mind that entered my head offered me more power and control. I'm ssssure you know what I'm talking about. I tried to ignore it, I went home and explained myself to my parentsssss. They took it hard, I was ssssleeping outsssside for the next few nightssss. After awhile I wasssss able to convinccce them I wassss me, but during that time I broke down and accsssepted the offer. I truly felt that I wassss about to losssse everything, sssso I figured what harm wassss there in getting assss big a head sssstart on being a dragon assss I could. When I sssstarted the merge, ssssomething happened. My own feral nature got a boosssst, it wassss like ssssomething dormant within me awoke and attacked the new mind. I took hold of my ssssenssssesss and it was a mere procccessss of sssstripping the feral mind for any informatisson and insssstinctssss I needed, disssscarding the remainssss of it and they were jussst erassssed from my brain. They were ssso ripped apart, not even a mind anymore, jussst the left overssss."

"So you basically....absorbed all the bits you wanted and tossed out the junk?" I asked Claw, bewildered at it all.

"Pretty much," he said back with his normally cocky grin.

"FireFlasssh isss unique in what he did," said Utoro, "He is a very unique dragon. However, I know the toll of all thisssss on a human mind like yourssss. I sssssee it in your eyesssss, there isssssn't much of a dragon fire burning in them, just a flicker. There isssss the cold and calculating nature of a human in them. There issss emotion in your eyessss, but it'ssss being wasssshed over with fear and you trying to figure all thissss out. If you want to truly undersssstand your own dragon nature, you musssst look for it with all your heart. To do that, you will have to be willing to give up ssssomething that I know you find more precccioussss to you than anything elssse, your humanity."

"I don't want to give up that!" I shouted, "My humanity is what I've been clinging to all this time, it's what and who I am."

"In order for you learn what it isssss for be a true dragon, you mussst come to gripssssss with your dragon nature,"  Utoro said, dead flat toned, "I can help you, but you musssst help yoursssself firsssst. Put asssside your human fearssss, you are among your own kind here. There issss nothing for you to fear within our territory."

I didn't know what to say. Giving up my humanity was one of those things that I said I'd never do. If I gave that up, there'd be no going back. I'd be a changed person. I looked at Claw, looking into his eyes and trying to find any light of humanity in them. I found it, but covered up by a lot of something else.       

"If I agreed, what would become of me should I slip into a fully feral state?" I asked.

"You'd be given a placccce here in the clan where you'd live out the resssst of your dayssss assss your true dragon nature intended," Utoro told me very bluntly.

"No, he won't," said Claw, rock solid in his tone of voice, "I made him a promisssse Utoro. Ssssshould he sssslip and go feral, I'd sssave him and return him home. I can't let him lossse himself totally in all thisssss, thisssss isss a vacatisson for him and that'ssss it. Sssshould he sssslip, I want your help in turning him back Utoro. He needssss to go home in a week."

Utoro looked surprised, but looked me over carefully, staring me right in the eyes and said in a very plain voice, as plain as a dragon's voice could get at least,

"Asssss you wisssssh Fireflasssh Rainclaw. You know him better than I do and itssss clear to me that he hassss an important role to play in the world. I ssssshall help you keep him in hissss life, onccccce again, a dragon must be allowed to return to it'ssss family. You can walk about freely in our territory. You can come and go asssss you wissssh. You have proven yoursssself a very capable dragon, but you are limited in your undersssstanding of what being a dragon truly meansssss. It'sssss not just a body, it'ssss a lot more and I will sssssee to it that you are made aware of your own nature. Fireflasssh Rainclaw isssss clearly one you sssseem to admire and trusssst. His duty will be to make ssssure you are fully immerssssed into thissss way life asssss much assss posssssible. For the time being, usssse your dragon name. I will inform the clan of who you are sssssoon, but I do not want to sssstart a panic. Your very presssencccce here might give the impressssion that the Hierarchy will come here to find you, I do not want to give them reasssson to fear that. Now, in two hourssss there will be a hunting party leaving to gather meat, you both will join it. Now go FireFlassssh Rainclaw and Etoke Coldfang, there isssss much to be done."

I wasn't going to push my luck, I was in so deep I couldn't even see daylight anymore. As soon as Claw turned and started to walk out, I was right on his tail. Kato was gone and I followed Claw down a barren tunnel. When I saw an offshoot chamber, I quickly got up alongside Claw and pushed him into the room.

"Gah," he shouted a bit before I wrapped a claw around his muzzle to silence him.

I glanced around the room to make sure we were alone and once I was positive of it I said,

"What the hell is all this?!" I growled in his face, "This is my vacation, not some clan indoctrination."

He shook his head and my claw lost its grip, he just growled right back at me,

"You sssssaid it yourself, you prefer firssssthand experiencccce. Can't get much more firssssthand then thisssss."

"But what gives you the right to make that call Claw?" I snarled back, "This is my life you are playing with."

"You trusssst me Etoke don't you?" he replied, just resuming his cocky self assured tone again.

"I do trust you, and my name is Ethan," I snapped back.

"Not for right now it issssn't," he corrected, "Utoro is making you ussssse it for good reasssson. If the other dragonsssss find out who you are too quickly, there'll be a panic. You are a marked dragon, far more wanted by them than even Utoro. You are putting them in danger by being here, or ssssso they'll think."

"Than this vacation is over," I growled, "I'll just go home."

"You run away, you are disssshonoring your own wordsssss Farm," shot back Claw, dead serious in his meaning, "Never give up. You run now, you are going back on the one thing you pride yoursssself on. Sssstay Farm, it'll be alright. They are just ssssscared the Hierarchy will come for them. They won't, they have losssst a lot of ground and are getting weaker. You are ssssafe here and sssso are they. Let Utoro handle it, you have thingssss to do. You need to learn about yoursssself and you can only do that here. Let me help you, pleasssse."

I just sighed and hung my head.

"Claw, you have to understand that what you are asking me to do isn't something I'm not sure I want," I told me, just looking at my front legs, "Sure I'll probably be a better dragon out the other side, but I might not be a better person. Will my family even recognize me? I'm just worried."

"You alwaysssss worry too much Farm," Claw replied with a sigh of his own, "It'ssss a wonder you are asssss sssstable assss you are, mentally sssspeaking. You'll worry yoursssself to death over sssstuff that'ssss really not worth it. You are a rare breed Farm, you really are. You care sssso deeply for otherssss that you'll give up your own happinesssss jusssst to make them feel better. You'll sssacrificcce ssso much of your own ssssoul that when it comessss down to it, you leave very little for yoursssself, if any at all. Which is your biggesssst flaw and what people usssse to exploit you. You sssseem to think that people are like you, honesssst and trusssstworthy. I was able to attack you, lead you into the woodssss and bring you here all bassssed on your trusssst in me. I could have eassssily turned on you at any point, but you trusssst me so deeply that you allowed it to happen. I've sssseen what happenssss to you when you placccce that trusssst in the wrong persssson though. You get hurt and so upsssset, you lassssh out uncontrollably at whoever issss clossssessst to you, normally the persssson to do a very ssssmall thing to hurt you, the sssstraw that broke the camel'ssss back. The ssssheer amount of anger for what that persssson did isss sssso out of line that you end up caussssing even more damage and even more sssstressss to yoursssself, creating a never ending sssspiral of anger and sssstressss that isss eating you alive. You have to ssssstop it Farm, before you become ssssomeone you aren't. I've been watching your mood go downhill for monthssss now, you are getting much eassssier to anger becausssse you are worrying yoursssself to the point you are about to sssssnap. Relaxsss here, let it all go. It issss a vactissson. Just relaxssss, put it all out of your mind and jussssst go with your insssstinctssss for a few dayssss. It'll help you far more than you can posssssibly undersssstand now.

I just kept looking at the floor, I knew he was right. I was starting to lose it. I'd lashed out at a few friends over minor things because more major ones I was keeping locked up. Like a bottle with a few leaks in it, I was popping off at people just because I refused to talk about the major ones to the person that caused to issue because I felt I'd be too hard on them. The stress was eating me alive. My friends fighting among themselves, looking to me for answers, college, my future, what I wanted to do with my life, fearing to lose anything that was important to me. The pressure was mounting and I couldn't deal with it all fast enough. I had to put aside all that stress, anger and fear before it consumed me, I had a suspicion that it already had. I looked back up at Claw and told him straight to his face,

"Thank you Claw, I needed that. I feel a bit better now. I just need to focus on trying to make myself happy again. I'm worrying myself to pieces, second guessing myself. I need to get a new bite on things. I'll do my best to learn all about this feral life so I can stop worrying about it, it'll be one less thing on my mind and that could make the difference."

"Thank you Etoke," said Claw with a smirk.

"Don't get used to that," I shot back, "That's not my real name, it's a cover."

"So was Fireflasssh Rainclaw to me once," he replied, "But for assss long asssss I've known you, you've called me Paul only twiccce. Who'ssss to say that my real name issssn't now Fireflassssh Rainclaw?"

"Because that is your nick name," I replied quickly, "People use nick names for a reason, easy and more personal, but your real name is Paul and that is a name that is yours for a life time."

He just looked away from me, seemingly deep in thought.

"We'll ssssee how long that lasssstsss," he said with a sigh.

"I'm holding to that deal we made Claw," I shot at him, "If you slip and go totally feral, I'll come get you. Tie you to a chair and get you to come to your senses."

"And I'll do the ssssame for you Etoke," he replied, just seemingly like it was a given and not looking back at me, "Now we'd better go get ready for your firssssst clan hunting trip. I think you'll find it very interesssssting."

"I'm sure I will," I replied.

We both walked out of the room and into the still barren tunnel. I wasn't sure what the deal was with all this, but if it meant I could learn all about it and stop worrying about it, then I could start to focus on other things as well.

We walked into a large community center just full of dragons, had to be fifteen of them all in this over a hundred foot wide and deep space. They we all moving baskets and boxes around, carrying the handles in their muzzles. It looked like this was the packing and shipping center for the clan.

"Thissss issss were we'll be called to gather into the hunting party Etoke," Claw said as he stood right next to me, "Thissss issss the placcce where all the food and ssssuppliesss come in, packaged and then moved about the cave. There issss a main feeding room nearby, the dragon versssion of a dining hall. You'll enjoy it, don't worry. Firsssst, we must get the food. Ready?"

"I guess I am," I replied nervously.

This was a lot to take in, it was overwhelming me a bit. I had to stay and see it through, I wasn't going to give up. I don't give up. I wasn't going to let my fears get the better of me on this, I wasn't going to allow it. I had a goal and I was going to get it, no matter what.